Questioning my Homosexuality!

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It was weird enough for me to feel this attraction for men for a long time, to the point of joining this site to explore my sexuality. After some questions in the magazine advise line I got to think that I am bisexual, but things started to change again some time ago.

Now I’m having this weirdest feeling of questioning my homosexuality!

I’ll try to explain a little bit. If I see a picture of a beautiful naked woman I get aroused immediately, If I see a picture of a beautiful male body I get aroused immediately. If I see a picture of a fat, ugly person, woman or man, I don’t get aroused at all!

In my mind I feel that I can fall in love with a woman, but can only become very close friend with a man, even if we share sex. So, with a woman I feel that I can have just sex, and also have love and sex, but with a man I feel that I can have sex and friendship, but not fall in love, like with a woman.

I love touching, kissing and sweet contact with my sex partner. I have been in a sexless relationship for so many years in my marriage, so I believe that my attraction for men is just the lack of sex with women. Is that possible? Do men get interested in other men sexually when they don’t get sex with women?

I am not having sex with women for a long time, but still after a couple of month of friendship with sex with a man, I’m starting to loose interest in the sexual part with him, and just wanting to keep the friendship.

Is this just an experimenting stage where the desire for sex with a man was only a desire generated by the lack of sex with women, and once fulfilled with a man, the interest for men dilute itself?

When I see a smooth male body my mind race to think and imagine sweet kissing and touching that body, that back, butt and legs, with the softest kisses I could give, but cannot think of penetrating that body unless is a very girly guy!

When I see a handsome guy with a hairy chest my mind race to think and imagine touching and kissing that hairy chest and cuddling to his side, feeling his warmth and protection from the world, and then being penetrated by this guy and me giving up myself to this man, but I’ve tried having a cock in my ass and just doesn’t feel good, (it feels like I’m defecating!) only being touched and kisses in all my body gets me crazy! I really enjoy feeling a cock in my butt, but not inside me! I don’t understand!

When I suck a cock, some times it feels so arousing, and some others it feels like I’m sucking a piece of rubber! Even if it is with the same man in different times.

Anybody have an idea what’s going on? Why some days I am so attracted to men, and some others just can’t feel aroused by them?, but with women I’m always attracted to them?

Am I a “part time bisexual”? if such thing does exist!, or it’s just the lack of sex, and as soon as I found a regular female sexual partner all my attraction to men will dissipate?
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