...Am I strong enough?...

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Today, from the begining...
I wake up around 6:50, with an intense feeling. (I should've known...) I shrugged off the feeling and had a shower. I went upstairs and had some breakfast and so on. I helped my cousin with a question in her science class.
School was okay. Me and Ella left Chem (we weren't doing anything knew and we're both caught up) to got to the library to study a massive bio test we had. Lunch was eh, late because the line at Quizno's was long and not enough people working, oh well it was worth it. Comp Civ. crawled by as I ignored the new project and studied for this bio test. Bio. It went by smoothly. I realized I understood more of the material then I had thought I did (thank god!).
After school me and Holly headed to Courtnay to get some new clothes for our grad. pics next week. I phone Alicia and tell her I'm gonna be there around 10-11. After shopping we decided to have dinner with a friend who moved there a couple of years ago.
It's about 9 and we had just entered town. Instead of dropping her off she asked if we could go to the bank. okay. Then she asked if we could go to the falls. It's raining but I said sure... for a few minutes. After 10 minutes of standing in the rain she looked over at me and..
H: "Brock, can I tell you something? I haven't even told D. yet (her bf)"
Me: I'm thinking oh god shes pregnant! I know she wants kids, but not yet. >.< "You can tell me anything holly."
H: "Brock...My mom...The doctors think she might have stomach cancer..." WHAT!? NO!!!
Now hollys mom had been like a second mother to me when we used to live in the same neighborhood. I broke down. I couldn't help but cry. I don't remember it, but I pretty much fell. Cause the next thing I knew it I was sitting down staring into the water.
H: "I don't think I've acknowledged it yet. It's not for sure, but the doctors think it's very likely." It's been 10 minutes and I haven't said anything. What do I say?... I don't think I could watch Holly go through that. Or her sister... At 10 we left and I told her I'd call her later this weekend. I came home and my family asked what was wrong. I looked at them and felt anger. I don't know why but I did. I grabbed the flowers that were on the dinning room table and left. I spent the next hour at the cemetery... It's been a long time since I've been there.... I came home eventually and had to shut out my family. I'll tell my gram in the morning, but right now I just can't...
I got a phone call not to long ago from J. He asked where I was. I made some lame excuse. he said he wished he could come see me then but he had been drinking earlier so couldnt. He said if he could find a driver that he would... I don't know if I want him to. I don't think I'm ready to unload on him like that. But honestly? I want nothing more then for him to come. Maybe we could go to his house? That way I could just stay the night... it would deffinitely be comforting to just lay there with him for the rest of the night. Bah...
Here's to hopes, keep your fingers crossed...
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